Marriage In Today’s World

Marriage in Today’s World

In a world where we are suppose to marry and remain married for eternity to one partner, is this a reality or outdated concept?  With the divorce rate rising yearly, the answer appears to be “No”.

“About 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached their 15th anniversary, up from roughly 65 percent of those that began in the 1970s and 1980s and couples who wed in the 2000s are divorcing at even lower rates.”  NY Times Article

I decided to talk to other couples (“Straight, Gay and Lesbian”) that were married in 1986 like my husband and I. Were they still married today?  The answer was amazing 90% of the couples were still married today, including my husband and I, almost thirty years later. Amazingly during my research I met several couples that were married over fifty years. Wow!

In 1986 “Same Sex” marriages were “Illegal”; many couples had commitment ceremonies, since traditional weddings were not allowed.  Thankfully in 2004 the government ruled it legal to marry a person of the same sex. In 2015 thirty-eight states have same sex marriage laws.

Some people say it is “Wrong”, that the bible forbids same sex marriages, but is this a fact?  Think about it, the bible was created before we had a culture that accepted same-sex relationships, so how could the bible address this subject?  There is even TV. shows on today that have Gay/Lesbian cast members. What a vast improvement from even ten years ago!

A good friend of mine met and fell in love with his same sex partner in 1986; unfortunately they were “forced” to wait over 25 years to be “legally” married once their state accepted same sex marriages in 2013. Other friends I know were “legally” wed earlier this year, after Florida joined the band wagon and accepted same-sex marriages, making it “legal” to marry their partner.

Supposedly Polygamy is also “Wrong”, yet several passages in the bible talk about having more than one wife.  Mormons and people in other countries practice multiple spouse lifestyles. Many families in Utah and other states throughout America live in Polygamist households. Today there are several TV. shows about Polygamist families and their unusual lifestyle.

My hubby and I will be celebrating 29 years of marriage this June, as will our best friends in July. My aunt and uncle were married in May of 1986 and remained married 27 years, until my uncle was “Called Home to the Lord”.  Two of my Facebook friends were also married in 1986 and remain married today. In my research I heard from many couples married 50+ years.

Maybe it was the fact that the man I was raised by, (my grandpa) who was commonly law married to my grandma for twenty plus years, until she passed away Christmas Eve 1986. Or maybe it was my estranged dad and step-mother who were married for thirty-three years, until my dad passed away in April 2013. Or maybe my in-laws who were also married over thirty years, until they passed away 8 weeks apart from each other.  My aunt-uncle was married over forty years, until my uncle passed away November 2009. My best friend aka my sister and brother-in-law were married 37 years until, her passing. The list goes on and on ….. .

Regardless of the type of marriage you have or the year you were married, No marriage is “PERFECT” and “ALL” marriages take “Hard Work and Commitment” to “Succeed”! I’ll be the first to admit my marriage has been a roller coaster that has taken us to the “devil’s playground” and up to the top of the “Empire State Building”, through it all we stood strong and fought to remain together, through the bad, good, ugly and in between. That is called Marriage!

There is no one answer as to why marriages from 1986 lasted longer than other years, maybe it was commitment, maybe religious beliefs, maybe luck, or NO Social Media/ Cell Phones.

No-one really knows for sure….

Interestingly though, most couples married in 1986 are still married today!

My advice to couples everywhere ….

  1. Communication
  2. Trust
  3. Friendship
  4. Commitment
  5. Share you lives together
  6. Support each other
  7. Make time for each other on a daily basis
  8. Love with your heart
  9. Continue to date, even after marriage
  10. Stay strong and devoted to your marriage

A quote from one of my Facebook friends: “Mr. and Mrs. Doug Rice are still married today. They are over 90 years old and have been married since they were 18.”

Are multiple partner marriages the answer to a successful marriage? Is Polygamy the answer or is Monogamy the answer? There is no correct answer it today’s world!

Marriage requires COMMITMENT and HARD WORK to be a SUCCESSFUL!


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